Daydreaming is indisputably one of the most typical stunts mastered by our minds.. its an addicting habit.. a simple escape from the seemingly uncontrollable reality. Yes, I'm a daydreamer, I muse over every aspect of my life. Inspiration sparks when we dare to imagine the biggest of things but when we spend too much time on fantasizing, we lose track of time.. and we end up being a step away from colliding our dreams with our reality. Inspiration is not enough. We have to make sure that we build our castle not in air but on solid ground.
See that is exactly my problem, I may get more than a passing grade in 'desiring' but I flunk big time in 'doing'. Im a true blue procrastinator, and it seems like in everything I do, I'm injected with an extra dose of inertia and anxiety. Doubts flood inside me before I put something in action. Mainly because of unwillingness.. but maybe also because Im very much conscious of how the people around me will perceive my actions. For me to be able to accomplish something I constantly need to argue with the heckler inside me. Although at times I win over this self-induced conflict, there will always be times when I'm left out of breath and too tired to struggle through the next step.
Im drained.. worn out from karate-chopping all the doubts, fears and anxieties that's been burdening me. I'm relearning the art of just letting things by.. the process of giving up without giving in.. to not think too much on how to do things but to focus more on the the actual 'doing' of things.. to enjoy the awkward situations rather than fearing it.. to acknowledge the presence of my heckler, and be aware that in any given time it will try to punch me.. I don't need to fight it.. I don't need to hit it back, for I will never win.. all I have to do is move past it.. to realize that by not feeding it, its next jab will be too weak to even penetrate my senses.
It's tough.. it ain't easy. I got overwhelmed oftentimes and there were a few relapses. But again and again, I allowed myself to stop and catch a glimpse of the things ahead, the better things that awaits me.. the goodness that will be mine only if I don't give in. Constantly I tell myself to synthesize my 'todays' in a way that will perfectly fit my picture of 'tomorrow'.
Let me tell you this.. it only takes a moment to clean all the unwanted thoughts to be able to make a decision and act upon it. So take that moment.
